I'm sorry, what was the question?
by Photo Philter
Summary: Ensemble Fic. JD has a question for the workers at Sacred Heart: "If you had to choose a Broadway song to represent your life, which song would you choose?" Hilarity ensues.


I got this idea after hearing "Run and Tell That" from _Hairspray._ I mean, does anyone else think of Turk in that song? No? Just me? Okay then...lol. But each character has exactly 100 words, and I hope its clear who the speaker of each is. And since JD is asking each of the characters, he doesn't have a little drabble. But, if you guys really want one, I'll add it.

I don't own the characters, the songs, or the musicals...except for Kelso's song.

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"What was that musical you made us go see in the movie theaters last year? And then you listened to the soundtrack for a month straight, and I had to hear you sing each song, which, no offense V-Bear, got a little old. There was John Travolta dressed up like a girl in it, which if I wasn't married, would have ruined women for me, because that was just wrong to do! What was that song you would always sing to me about being black? 'Blacker the chocolate, better the taste?' Something like that? Because that's what I'm talking about."

"Did Turk say _West Side Story_ for me? I swear, my mom would be so sad to know I actually married a man who doesn't ever remember that I'm not actually Puerto Rican, but Dominican. She hated Turk anyways, Bambi, but that would not have helped his cause. I would actually pick something from _Chicago_, if only because that's where I am from. And who doesn't love 'Cell Block Tango?' And felt that way before…not that I have actually wanted to kill Turk. But sometimes he just does these little things, and I swear Bambi, a break just sounds nice."

"I would choose my personal favorite, 'I don't give a crap.' It was actually from my son's play he wrote about my life, Dr. Dad. I never got a chance to go see it, but I read all the reviews, and heard the songs online. Not too bad actually, but Harrison chose to ignore the part where I financed all of his ideas throughout his entire life. I'm just the bad guy. Enid wanted to go, but we couldn't find a plane that would agree to fly her out, or one that had big enough seat for her. Now move!"

"My band, you remember them? We sang Broadway songs for a while until we started getting letters from lawyers in New York City telling us to stop singing the songs. And they were powerful lawyers…from fancy law schools. They used a lot of big words and were able to scare us. We tried just using the tunes afterwards, but we started having creative differences between us about what the words were going to be. The band almost broke up over the Broadway dispute of 2004. We had to take a break for a few months before we could practice again."

"I'm sorry…Roxie, did you just ask which Broadway song I would choose? Because Tracy, it sure seemed like you did. Now, I'm sure it was the survey in your latest issue of _Seventeen_ or_ Cosmo_ or _Vogue_ or whatever magazine you girls are reading these days while you sit around giving each other manicures. But since ya asked so nicely, Maria, I'll answer. Annie, Get Your Gun. But not the song, or the musical, if it actually is one. Just Annie, that's you, go get your gun, so I can either shoot myself or you for asking this dumb question."

"I was in a Broadway play once. No lie. I was Danny Zuko in the musical _Grease_. 'Course, I didn't last very long: I showed up to rehearsal after the first performance drunk because I was celebrating getting through the one play, which was a big deal to me. Then I was blacklisted from all Broadway plays. I settled for being a janitor there to stay close to my passion, but they found out and forced me to move across the country to become a janitor here. I still can't attend Broadway plays if they come do a show here."

"Oh, I would choose 'Big, Blonde and Beautiful'. Even though I'm not big. But that song has gotten me through some rough times…like after I ate half that cake last week. But I was totally having a bad day! The last time I had a day that bad was in high school when I flunked my test, found my mom in bed with this guy I had been flirting with the whole year, Billy Carson. Turns out he was really interested in my mom the whole time. Just thinking about that day makes me want more of that cake now."

"What is with this stupid question DJ? Don't you have patients to check on? I guess I would choose 'Cell Block Tango'…What do you mean Carla already chose it and that means I can't choose it? Because I am. And I can actually add my own verse to that song if you'd like. Trust me, I already know what I'd do to Perry if I had to. Just slip something in his scotch and he'd never know otherwise…but don't mention this to him, DJ. Better watch your back around here if you do tell … or you'll have it coming."

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Feedback is always welcome! Let me know if you want a JD choice as well...or any other characters I forgot.


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